Schofield West posted an update 2 months ago
If you are confused by each of the marital advice boating online and during talk shows today, you’re not alone. It seems like everyone is an expert. Some well-known marriage therapists are already married (and divorced!) 2-3 times or more. With that type of background, it appears like some may know what doesn’t work but haven’t quite discovered what does work. On the other extreme, you’ve got pros who give marriage advice but they haven’t been married themselves.
As there is no deficiency of "experts" handing out marital advice, I favor to attend the real experts: couples who have been married happily for decades. Whenever I see a silver-haired couple who still take a look at the other person like newlyweds, I’m wondering what exactly is the key to their success? After performing some research, here’s a little gem for marriage from longtime couples…
Failure just isn’t an alternative. Couples in successful marriages are certainly devoted to their union. They take very seriously their marriage vows , nor entertain thoughts that perhaps they would be happier elsewhere. Divorce just is not an element of their vocabulary. And when you understand you might be with someone for much better or worse, ’til death would you part, you then become serious about cultivating a harmonious household atmosphere.
Common Spirituality. Best couples share a typical spiritual background or value system. The old saying, "The family that prays together, stays together," is valid in a marriage as well. Christian marriage counseling often stresses the importance of attending worship services together to help mend broken marriages. If you are not inclined to trust within a higher power, developing a shared goal or passion can also unite a couple.
Mutual Respect. It’s not necessary to trust your partner continuously, yet it’s imperative that you respect their opinion. One critical for a lasting marriage is accepting and understanding your differences. This means never dismissing your spouse’s feelings or concerns, even when they appear silly to you personally.
Ongoing Intimacy. Even older couples agree that intimacy in the marriage is important. And in contrast to other marital advice that would have you do calisthenics inside the bedroom, real couples point out that there is absolutely no reason to reinvent the wheel. The notion that marital intimacy should be constantly new and exciting is overrated. The most important thing is always that each spouse takes the time to fulfill the other’s needs. And that means taking your affection out of your bedroom too – physical contact like non-sexual hugs, kisses and caresses help spouses conserve a bond each day.
One Marriage, A couple. Perhaps one part of marital suggest that might surprise younger couples is the fact that a pleasant marriage does not involve two different people being joined in the hip constantly. While you should stay away from the trap to become "married singles" in places you both lead separate lives, its also wise to avoid co-dependency. Older couples not only share activities and hobbies, in addition they nurture their individual passions too. Sometimes,
love based on how in order to save a married relationship is usually to know that you happen to be each those who need your own personal breathing space. Suffocating your partner by demanding their full attention 24/7 can quickly turn a happy marriage into a nightmare situation.
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